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The long lost passion

Something my mum talk about last weekend made me realized something.

My passion for cooking.

Yes, I am a culinarian for years now, engage with cooking almost every single day, but the fire, my once fiery passion in cooking is not there. It's like, I'm just doing it for the sake of my job and for the benefits of my students. God, where is 'that love' that buried deep in myself since I was just a little girl?

It almost made me cry when my mum said that she couldn't forget the deliciousness of 'kueh pau' that I made when I was just in primary school. Among so many things that I cooked for my family, that was one small insignificant things that she can't forget. I am so touched at heart. She said that what was so special about it is the filling. The filling that I accidentally invented out of boredom after coming back from school. I remember that my dad didn't believed I made it myself that he kept asking where I bought it from. Maybe because back then, I was just a naive schoolgirl.

Suddenly all the memories pour in. Oh how I will sat in front of tv with a notebook in hand, watching every single cooking shows aired. How I will went straight to the kitchen after school, searching and wasting my mum's kitchen ingredients, cooking, testing and inventing something that sometimes end up in the trash bin. How happy I was that time spending my afternoon in the not-so-elegant kitchen. It all stopped when I went to the boarding school. Five years, with most of the time I felt really lost in there, learning something that I don't really can get into in an environment I can't commit with.

When I first did my diploma course, my deep interest in cooking ignited. But as the time flies, I guess it was not as strong as before, even when I took my bachelor degree in Culinary Arts. I can't figure out why. I am still searching for the answer now, and determine to get 'that passion' back.


  1. oh dear,im touched! u must be such a darling back then,,n u still are..:) n always be..i guess we r in the same boat when it comes to passion..sometimes, when we r too engrossed fulfilling our duties,we got lost in the way..we forgot ourselves..
    we forgot to praise ourselves, forgot to eat properly, forgot to say hello to old friends (this apply to me too of course), forgot to hangout with friends, forgot to chit chat with people that we know..n all of these leave lots of empty spaces in our heart..and when there are too many empty spaces, there will be a room for emptiness..and i guess passion n emptiness don't get along dear, let us fill in the blank that we left and live life to the max...XOXO

  2. Thank you darling. All the things you said are so true. I did all that! If only I can turn back the time...


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